Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
