You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
