I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
