Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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