When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
