i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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