Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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