I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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