id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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