We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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