Will you blow on my dice?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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