so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize