But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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