no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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