I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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