the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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