I hate all girls vehemently.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
