Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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