you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
