Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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