ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
