I smell stomach acid.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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