i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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