i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
