dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
