I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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