no, he came in my armpit
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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