Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
