i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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