Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
