I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
