no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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