You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
