I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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