yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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