Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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