Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
