The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
