I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
