also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
