the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
