quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
