just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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