I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
