That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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