you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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