I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
