My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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