Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
