I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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