I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
