Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize