first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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