So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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