Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
