i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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